20 Funny Ways To Say “It’s Cold” (With Examples)

Funny ways to say “it’s cold” can turn freezing weather into a chance for laughter. Instead of the same old “It’s freezing,” why not spice up your conversations with something more fun? A creative phrase can make the cold more bearable and bring a smile to those around you.

Next time you’re shivering, try a new way to say it and spread some warmth through humor!

Funny Ways To Say “It’s Cold”

1. “It’s so cold; I saw a penguin applying for a heater at Walmart!”
2. “It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra!”
3. “It’s so cold, my hot coffee turned into iced coffee before I could take a sip!”
4. “It’s colder than a polar bear’s toenails!”
5. “It’s so cold, the snowman is begging to come inside and get warm!”
6. “It’s colder than a well-digger’s butt in January!”
7. “It’s so cold, I could ice skate in my living room with this chill!”
8. “It’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg!”
9. “It’s so cold, even the polar bears are hibernating!”
10. “It’s colder than a snowman’s heart!”
11. “It’s so cold; the hot chocolate is shivering!”
12. “It’s colder than a banker’s heart on foreclosure day!”
13. “It’s so cold; I saw a squirrel trying to barter his nuts for a scarf!”
14. “It’s colder than a snowball’s chance in a sauna!”
15. “It’s so cold, my teeth are chattering—and they’re still in the glass!”
16. “It’s colder than a brass monkey’s balls!”
17. “It’s so cold, the snow is wearing sunglasses!”
18. “It’s colder than a penguin’s freezer!”
19. “It’s so cold; I need a heating blanket for my thoughts!”
20. “It’s colder than Jack Frost’s heart after Elsa stole his spotlight!”

1. It’s so cold; I saw a penguin applying for a heater at Walmart!

“It’s so cold, I saw a penguin applying for a heater at Walmart!” spins a wild tale of a penguin, an arctic royalty, braving retail for warmth. Picture it waddling through aisles, resume in flipper, while your own toes beg for socks. It’s a goofy gem for friends who’d laugh at the absurdity over a hot drink. Curiosity won’t thaw this chill—it’s locked in tight!

Example 1: Imagine you’re texting your pal during a snowstorm, windows rattling. You write: “It’s so cold, I saw a penguin applying for a heater at Walmart! Think I’ll grab one too!” Picture them snickering under a pile of blankets.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a grocery run with your cousin, breath fogging up. You say: “It’s so cold, I saw a penguin applying for a heater at Walmart! Let’s hustle back!” Visualize them chuckling, speeding up.

2. It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra!

“It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra!” conjures a cackling hag in metal lingerie, shivering worse than you—enough to freeze a spell. This bold quip is for rowdy mates who’d howl at its cheek over beers. No chance of warming up this secret—it’s guarded by a frosty hex!

Example 1: Picture yourself and your buddies camping, fire flickering low. You say: “It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra! More wood, now!” Imagine their loud laughs as logs fly on.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a pub with friends, coats still zipped. You quip: “It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra! Another round to survive!” Visualize them cheering, glasses clinking.

3. It’s so cold that my hot coffee turned into iced coffee before I could take a sip!

“It’s so cold, my hot coffee turned into iced coffee before I could take a sip!” paints your brew betraying you, chilling faster than a barista’s trick—enough to ruin mornings. Perfect for coworkers who’d nod over their own mugs, this one’s a simple laugh. Sorry, no recipe for this freeze—it’s a locked vault!

Example 1: Imagine you’re trudging to class with your sister, mug in hand. You say: “It’s so cold, my hot coffee turned into iced coffee before I could take a sip!” Picture her giggling, sipping hers fast.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a bus stop, texting your buddy. You type: “It’s so cold, my hot coffee turned into iced coffee before I could take a sip! Save me!” Visualize them replying with a shiver.

4. It’s colder than a polar bear’s toenails!

“It’s colder than a polar bear’s toenails!” imagines those icy claws clicking on frost, colder than your own numb toes—enough to make a bear whimper. A cute pick for kids or pals who’d grin at the critter twist. This chill’s a secret tighter than a bear cave—no peeking!

Example 1: Picture you and your niece at the park, snow crunching. You say: “It’s colder than a polar bear’s toenails! Let’s warm up soon!” Imagine her laughing, mittens flapping.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a winter fair, chatting with parents. You say: “It’s colder than a polar bear’s toenails! These kids are tougher than us!” Visualize them nodding, smiling.

5. It’s so cold that the snowman is begging to come inside and get warm!

“It’s so cold, the snowman is begging to come inside and get warm!” flips the script—Frosty’s pounding your door, pleading for cocoa because it’s frosty beyond his snowy soul. Ideal for family giggles or a playful post, it’s locked down like a snow fort—no thawing this tale!

Example 1: Imagine your kids eyeing their snowman, the wind howling. You say: “It’s so cold, the snowman is begging to come inside and get warm!” Picture them laughing, dragging it in pretend.

Example 2: Suppose you’re on a call with your friend, and your yard is iced over. You say: “It’s so cold; the snowman is begging to come inside and get warm!” Visualize them cracking up, picturing it.

Related Post: 20 Funny Ways To Say “Merry Christmas” (With Examples)

6. It’s colder than a well-digger’s butt in January!

“It’s colder than a well-digger’s butt in January!” digs up a gritty image of a frozen backside mid-winter—enough to stop a shovel dead. A rustic riot for kin or old pals who’d slap their knees at its charm. This chill’s buried deep—no chance of spilling it!

Example 1: Picture your uncle cursing the barn’s draft and the cows huddling. You say: “It’s colder than a well-digger’s butt in January! Inside soon?” Imagine his gruff laugh as he stomped off.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a holiday party, windows rattling. You quip: “It’s colder than a well-digger’s butt in January! Blankets, stat!” Visualize the room chuckling, passing throws.

7. It’s so cold that I could ice skate in my living room with this chill!

“It’s so cold, I could ice skate in my living room with this chill!” dreams up your floor as a rink, blades optional—enough to freeze your socks off indoors. A silly spark for roommates or followers who’d snort at the thought. No cracking this icy secret—it’s sealed tight!

Example 1: Imagine your flatmate griping, heater kaput. You say: “It’s so cold, I could ice skate in my living room with this chill!” Picture them snickering, piling on scarves.

Example 2: Suppose you’re texting your mom from your frosty flat. You write: “It’s so cold, I could ice skate in my living room with this chill! Help!” Visualize her sending socks fast.

8. It’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg!

“It’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg!” piles on crazy—a metal throne on ice, untouched by sun, colder than your wildest shiver. A bold zinger for mates who’d roar at its madness. This freeze is guarded by an iceberg dragon—no entry!

Example 1: Picture your fishing crew on a lake, ice cracking. You yell: “It’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg!” Imagine them howling, packing up.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a BBQ, frost biting despite the grill. You say: “It’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg!” Visualize them laughing, stoking flames.

9. It’s so cold that even the polar bears are hibernating!

“It’s so cold, even the polar bears are hibernating!” flips nature—those ice kings snoozing because it’s frosty beyond their grit. A clever quip for pals or posts, it’s a locked vault of chill—no bear’s spilling this one! You’d need a memory wipe to forget its twist, but who’s got time?

Example 1: Imagine your brother shoveling snow, grumbling. You say: “It’s so cold, even the polar bears are hibernating! Hurry up!” Picture him smirking, tossing snow.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a café, windows iced. You tell the barista: “It’s so cold, even the polar bears are hibernating! Hotter brew, please!” Visualize her grinning, steaming it up.

10. It’s colder than a snowman’s heart!

“It’s colder than a snowman’s heart!” taps a snowman’s icy ticker, colder than your chapped lips—it’s frigid enough to freeze a carrot nose. A quick, cute jab for kids or mates who’d smile at its simplicity. This chill’s a secret snow pile—no melting it loose!

Example 1: Picture your nephew at the bus stop, teeth chattering. You say: “It’s colder than a snowman’s heart! Scarf up, buddy!” Imagine him giggling, wrapping tighter.

Example 2: Suppose you’re texting your friend from a park. You write: “It’s colder than a snowman’s heart! Thaw me out soon!” Visualize them rushing over, laughing.

Related Post: 20 Funny Ways To Say “Good Luck” (With Examples)

11. It’s so cold that the hot chocolate is shivering!

“It’s so cold, the hot chocolate is shivering!” imagines your mug trembling, too chilled to warm you. A sweet, silly line for family or followers who’d chuckle at the thought. This freeze is locked like a thermos—no sipping this secret!

Example 1: Imagine your kids by the fire, cocoa in hand. You say: “It’s so cold, the hot chocolate is shivering! More blankets!” Picture them laughing, piling on.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a café, mugs barely steaming. You quip: “It’s so cold, the hot chocolate is shivering! Heat this joint!” Visualize friends nodding, amused.

12. It’s colder than a banker’s heart on foreclosure day!

“It’s colder than a banker’s heart on foreclosure day!” stings with a frosty jab at greed, colder than your icy driveway—it’s frigid with a bite. A sharp pick for adults who’d smirk at its edge, guarded like a vault—no cracking this chill!

Example 1: Picture your aunt on the porch, wind cutting through. You say: “It’s colder than a banker’s heart on foreclosure day! Inside now!” Imagine her sly grin, stepping in.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at work, AC blasting. You tell your desk mate: “It’s colder than a banker’s heart on foreclosure day! Fix this!” Visualize them laughing, agreeing.

13. It’s so cold that I saw a squirrel trying to barter his nuts for a scarf!

“It’s so cold, I saw a squirrel trying to barter his nuts for a scarf!” dreams up a bushy-tailed haggler, nuts in paw, desperate for warmth—it’s frosty enough to drive critters mad. A goofy gem for pals who’d laugh at the scene, locked tighter than a squirrel’s stash—no peeking!

Example 1: Imagine your sister raking leaves, frost everywhere. You say: “It’s so cold; I saw a squirrel trying to barter his nuts for a scarf!” Picture her chuckling, dropping the rake.

Example 2: Suppose you’re texting your buddy from a park. You write: “It’s so cold, I saw a squirrel trying to barter his nuts for a scarf!” Visualize them replying with a laugh.

14. It’s chillier than my dog’s nose after a walk!”

“It’s chillier than my dog’s nose after a walk!” brings a light, everyday laugh—think of your pup coming back from outside with a cold, wet nose nudging your hand, now that chill’s everywhere. It’s a fun, simple line perfect for quick chats or family talks, something anyone with a pet can smile at. No fancy twists, just a relatable shiver that keeps it cozy and real!

Example 1: Picture your dad at a game, wind biting hard. You say: “It’s chillier than my dog’s nose after a walk! Blankets, now!” Imagine him nodding, digging one out.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a market, hands frozen. You tell the vendor: “It’s chillier than my dog’s nose after a walk! Hot cider, quick!” Visualize her pouring, grinning.

15. It’s so cold, my teeth are chattering—and they’re still in the glass!

“It’s so cold, my teeth are chattering—and they’re still in the glass!” spins a dark giggle, dentures rattling from the chill—it’s frosty enough to spook the shelf. A quirky quip for older kin or self-mockers, locked like a dental case—no chattering this secret out!

Example 1: Imagine your gran laughing at the drafty room. You say: “It’s so cold, my teeth are chattering—and they’re still in the glass!” Picture her cackling, scarf up.

Example 2: Suppose you’re visiting a home, and the wind is howling. You quip: “It’s so cold, my teeth are chattering—and they’re still in the glass!” Visualize the group chuckling warmly.

16. It’s colder than a brass monkey’s balls!

“It’s colder than a brass monkey’s balls!” dives into sailor slang, brass and all, colder than your icy boots—it’s frigid with a salty edge. A crude riot for mates who’d roar over drinks, guarded by a ship’s hold—no spilling this chill!

Example 1: Picture your fishing crew on a lake, lines casting. You yell: “It’s colder than a brass monkey’s balls! Let’s bail!” Imagine them howling, reeling in.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a pub, snowing outside. You say: “It’s colder than a brass monkey’s balls! More beer to thaw!” Visualize cheers as pints pour.

17. It’s so cold that the snow is wearing sunglasses!

“It’s so cold, the snow is wearing sunglasses!” dresses snow in shades, too cool to melt—it’s frosty with a swagger. A cute, fun line for kids or posts, locked like a snowbank—no thawing this stylish secret! You’d need shades to peek, but good luck!

Example 1: Imagine your niece in a snow fort, cheeks red. You say: “It’s so cold, the snow is wearing sunglasses! Warm up soon!” Picture her giggling, adding twigs.

Example 2: Suppose you’re texting your pal from a slope. You write: “It’s so cold, the snow is wearing sunglasses! Too cool here!” Visualize them laughing back.

18. It’s colder than a penguin’s freezer!

“It’s colder than a penguin’s freezer!” amps up a bird’s icy lair with a fridge colder than your frosty breath—it’s freezing to the beak. A short, sweet jab for family or quick chats, guarded by penguin logic—no cracking this chill!

Example 1: Picture your mom in the kitchen, fridge open. You say: “It’s colder than a penguin’s freezer! Shut it quick!” Imagine her laughing, closing it fast.

Example 2: Suppose you’re at a picnic and the food is icing up. You quip: “It’s colder than a penguin’s freezer! Eat fast, folks!” Visualize them chuckling, digging in.

19. It’s so cold, I need a heating blanket for my thoughts!

“It’s so cold, I need a heating blanket for my thoughts!” jokes your brain’s iced over, needing a plug-in thaw—it’s chilly enough to numb your noggin. A witty pick for clever pals or posts, locked like a frozen mind—no warming this one up!

Example 1: Imagine your coworker by the office heater, dazed. You say: “It’s so cold, I need a heating blanket for my thoughts! Coffee now!” Picture them nodding, shuffling off.

Example 2: Suppose you’re texting your sibling from a library. You write: “It’s so cold, I need a heating blanket for my thoughts! Slow study!” Visualize them replying with a shiver.

20. Brrr, it’s chillier than my fridge with the door left open!

Conclusion

Cold weather doesn’t have to be boring—funny ways to say “It’s cold” can add humor to even the chilliest days. Instead of the usual complaints, why not make people laugh with creative and quirky expressions? We’ve got plenty of options to keep your conversations fresh and entertaining.

Explore more on Other Ways To Say, and the next time the temperature drops, bring the laughs with you!