20 Funny Ways To Say “I Don’t Care” (With Examples)

Adding humor to everyday conversations can make even indifference sound entertaining, and funny ways to say “I don’t care” do just that. Instead of a blunt response, a witty remark can lighten the mood and keep things playful. Whether you’re joking with friends or just keeping things casual, a creative reply makes all the difference.

Try swapping out the usual phrases for something unexpected—you might just get a laugh while making your point!

Funny Ways To Say “I Don’t Care”

Here are 20 funny ways to say “I don’t care”:

1. “My interest just packed its bags and moved to Mars.”
2. “My care’s on a silent retreat, finding itself.”
3. “The orchestra of my concern is on permanent intermission.”
4. “I’d care, but I left my care bear at home.”
5. “My ability to give a darn has taken a much-needed vacation.”
6. “Echoes in the valley of my concern? Nonexistent.”
7. “I’m all out of care today.”
8. “My empathy got lost in the mail—never to be found.”
9. “The library of my attention is currently closed for renovations.”
10. “I do care, but not as much as I don’t!”
11. “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
12. “If I cared any less than this, I’d be dead.”
13. “I don’t give two squirts of piss!”
14. “Cool story, bro! My dog is having kittens, I gotta go!”
15. “Keep talking! I need to collect more material for my comedy routine.”
16. “I give zero FPS (f*cks per second).”
17. “Hold on, I’m fishing for a f*ck to give.”
18. “Statistically speaking, there is probably at least one person in this vast world that cares. However, that person is not me.”
19. “No instrument that exists can measure my indifference.”
20. “Somewhere out there, there’s an alien that would be interested in your concern. Unfortunately, I am but a lowly human.”

1. My interest just packed its bags and moved to Mars.

“My interest just packed its bags and moved to Mars” launches my concern into orbit, like I don’t care enough to keep it earthbound—it’s a cosmic mix-up now. Once I sipped your drama, I realized it wasn’t my brew, so off it went, leaving me amused by the void. The humor rockets from the Martian getaway!

Example 1: Imagine your friend venting about work. You could say: “My interest just packed its bags and moved to Mars—rant’s lost in space!”

Example 2: Picture your sibling whining about chores. You might say: “My interest just packed its bags and moved to Mars—dust’s not my deal!”

2. My care’s on a silent retreat, finding itself.

“My care’s on a silent retreat, finding itself” sends my concern off to meditate, leaving your chatter in a lurch of quiet discovery. I tried tuning in, but my empathy wandered off to zen—silence hums sweeter now. The humor rests in the retreat’s peace!

Example 1: Suppose your coworker gripes about a meeting. You could say: “My care’s on a silent retreat, finding itself—mute’s my mood!”

Example 2: Picture your friend moaning about the weather. You might say: “My care’s on a silent retreat, finding itself—rain’s off my radar!”

3. The orchestra of my concern is on permanent intermission.

“The orchestra of my concern is on permanent intermission” mutes my worry’s symphony, like I don’t care to play your tune—it’s an endless break now. Your noise hit a sour note, so I let the curtains fall, finding peace in the quiet encore. The humor bows from the orchestral pause!

Example 1: Imagine your teammate stressing a deadline. You could say: “The orchestra of my concern is on permanent intermission—stress offstage!”

Example 2: Picture your cousin fussing over plans. You might say: “The orchestra of my concern is on permanent intermission—curtain’s down!”

4. I’d care, but I left my care bear at home.

“I’d care, but I left my care bear at home” shrugs off your woes with a cuddly alibi, like my empathy’s tucked away with a teddy. I’d hug your issue, but my plush pal’s AWOL—indifference snuggles in instead. The humor cuddles from the bear blunder!

Example 1: Suppose your friend complains about traffic. You could say: “I’d care, but I left my care bear at home—jam’s not my jam!”

Example 2: Picture your roommate grumbling. You might say: “I’d care, but I left my care bear at home—whine’s bear-less!”

5. My ability to give a darn has taken a much-needed vacation.

“My ability to give a darn has taken a much-needed vacation” jets my concern to a beach far from your fuss, like I don’t care to clock in for this shift. Your saga washed up, but I’m sipping apathy by the shore—relaxation’s my new gig. The humor trans from the vacation vibe!

Example 1: Imagine your sibling ranting about school. You could say: “My ability to give a darn has taken a much-needed vacation—class dismissed!”

Example 2: Picture your coworker nagging. You might say: “My ability to give a darn has taken a much-needed vacation—work’s on break!”

Related Post: 20 Funny Ways To Say “I’m Tired” (With Examples)

6. Echoes in the valley of my concern? Nonexistent.

“Echoes in the valley of my concern? Nonexistent” hollows out my worry, like your words bounce off cliffs of indifference. I’d shout back if I felt it, but the canyon’s mute—silence rings louder now. The humor fades in the echo’s absence!

Example 1: Suppose your friend drones on about drama. You could say: “Echoes in the valley of my concern? Nonexistent—tale’s lost!”

Example 2: Picture your teammate overexplaining. You might say: “Echoes in the valley of my concern? Nonexistent—point’s gone!”

7. I’m all out of care today.

“I’m all out of care today” empties my empathy tank, like I don’t care to refill for your spiel—it’s a dry day now. I’d pour some sympathy, but the stock’s gone, leaving me chuckling at the shortage. The humor dries from the care drought!

Example 1: Imagine your cousin griping about a date. You could say: “I’m all out of care today—love’s out of stock!”

Example 2: Picture your friend venting. You might say: “I’m all out of care today—concern’s sold out!”

8. My empathy got lost in the mail—never to be found.

“My empathy got lost in the mail—never to be found” misroutes my feelings, like they’re stuck in transit far from your fuss. I’d sign for your woes, but the package vanished—indifference’s my delivery now. The humor posts from the mail mishap!

Example 1: Suppose your roommate whines about rent. You could say: “My empathy got lost in the mail—never to be found—bill’s solo!”

Example 2: Picture your teammate stressing. You might say: “My empathy got lost in the mail—never to be found—task’s yours!”

9. The library of my attention is currently closed for renovations.

“The library of my attention is currently closed for renovations” shuts my focus to your chatter, like I don’t care to check out your tale—it’s under repair. Your story’s overdue, but I’m shelving it, finding peace in the quiet stacks. The humor books from the library lockout!

Example 1: Imagine your friend overanalyzing. You could say: “The library of my attention is currently closed for renovations—tale’s shelved!”

Example 2: Picture your sibling debating. You might say: “The library of my attention is currently closed for renovations—chat’s closed!”

10. I do care, but not as much as I don’t!

“I do care, but not as much as I don’t” teeters my concern on a seesaw, tipping hard toward apathy’s side. I’d weigh your words, but indifference lifts higher—balance swings to shrugs. The humor tilts from the care clash!

Example 1: Suppose your coworker grumbles about lunch. You could say: “I do care, but not as much as I don’t—eat what you want!”

Example 2: Picture your friend fussing over plans. You might say: “I do care, but not as much as I don’t—pick anything!”

Related Post: 20 Funny Ways to Say “Goodbye” (With Examples)

11. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

“Not my circus, not my monkeys” tosses your chaos out of my tent, like I don’t care to tame your wild show—it’s your ring now. I’d juggle your mess, but I’m no clown, so I’m stepping off with a grin. The humor swings from the circus dodge!

Example 1: Imagine your teammate’s drama. You could say: “Not my circus, not my monkeys—your clowns!”

Example 2: Picture your cousin’s feud. You might say: “Not my circus, not my monkeys—ring’s yours!”

12. If I cared any less than this, I’d be dead.

“If I cared any less than this, I’d be dead” flatlines my concern, like your issue’s a pulse I can’t feel. I’d resuscitate some worry, but my heart’s on snooze—apathy’s my last beat. The humor fades from the deadpan drop!

Example 1: Suppose your friend moans about a game. You could say: “If I cared any less than this, I’d be dead—play on!”

Example 2: Picture your roommate griping. You might say: “If I cared any less than this, I’d be dead—whine flat!”

13. I don’t give two squirts of piss!

“I don’t give two squirts of piss” flushes my care down the drain, like I don’t care to splash a drop on your drivel—it’s a washout. I’d sprinkle some interest, but the tank’s dry, leaving me chuckling at the flush. The humor splashes from the crude cut!

Example 1: Imagine your sibling nagging about TV. You could say: “I don’t give two squirts of piss—watch what you want!”

Example 2: Picture your coworker whining. You might say: “I don’t give two squirts of piss—gripe’s gone!”

14. Cool story, bro! My dog is having kittens, I gotta go!

“Cool story, bro! My dog is having kittens, I gotta go” ditches your yarn with a wild excuse, like my pet’s nonsense trumps yours. I’d linger for your tale, but absurdity calls—indifference bolts fast. The humor barks from the pet play!

Example 1: Suppose your friend rambles on. You could say: “Cool story, bro! My dog is having kittens, I gotta go—pet crisis!”

Example 2: Picture your teammate explaining. You might say: “Cool story, bro! My dog is having kittens, I gotta go—later!”

15. Keep talking! I need to collect more material for my comedy routine.

“Keep talking! I need to collect more material for my comedy routine” mines your chatter for laughs, like I don’t care but I’ll script it for giggles—your words are gold now. I’d hush you, but the punchline’s brewing, syncing my shrugs with smirks. The humor jests from the comedy collection!

Example 1: Imagine your cousin blabbing. You could say: “Keep talking! I need to collect more material for my comedy routine—joke’s on!”

Example 2: Picture your friend yapping. You might say: “Keep talking! I need to collect more material for my comedy routine—laughs loading!”

16. I give zero FPS (f*cks per second).

“I give zero FPS (fcks per second)” frames my apathy in gamer lingo, like your fuss lags out my concern meter. I’d crank up some care, but my rate’s stuck at nil—static’s my speed. The humor glitches from the FPS flop!

Example 1: Suppose your roommate whines about noise. You could say: “I give zero FPS (fcks per second)—sound’s fine!”

Example 2: Picture your teammate stressing tech. You might say: “I give zero FPS (f*cks per second)—bug off!”

17. Hold on, I’m fishing for a f*ck to give.

“Hold on, I’m fishing for a fck to give” casts my care into a dry lake, like I don’t care to reel in a nibble for your noise—it’s a blank catch. I’d bait some worry, but the hook’s bare, leaving me grinning at the empty line. The humor hooks from the fishing fail!

Example 1: Imagine your friend griping about food. You could say: “Hold on, I’m fishing for a fck to give—bite’s gone!”Example 2: Picture your sibling moaning. You might say: “Hold on, I’m fishing for a f*ck to give—line’s empty!”

18. Statistically speaking, there is probably at least one person in this vast world that cares. However, that person is not me.

“Statistically speaking, there is probably at least one person in this vast world that cares. However, that person is not me” crunches numbers to dodge your drama, like my apathy’s a data point. I’d tally some concern, but I’m the outlier—stats shrug it off. The humor counts from the stat snub!

Example 1: Suppose your coworker vents about a boss. You could say: “Statistically speaking, there is probably at least one person in this vast world that cares. However, that person is not me—boss off!”

Example 2: Picture your friend fussing over a call. You might say: “Statistically speaking, there is probably at least one person in this vast world that cares. However, that person is not me—dial out!”

19. No instrument that exists can measure my indifference.

“No instrument that exists can measure my indifference” scales my lack of care beyond tools, like I don’t care so much it’s off the charts—unreadable bliss. I’d gauge your gripe, but my meter’s busted, syncing shrugs with a smirk. The humor tunes from the measure miss!

Example 1: Imagine your teammate whining about work. You could say: “No instrument that exists can measure my indifference—task’s null!”

Example 2: Picture your cousin ranting. You might say: “No instrument that exists can measure my indifference—gripe’s void!”

20. Somewhere out there, there’s an alien that would be interested in your concern. Unfortunately, I am but a lowly human.

“Somewhere out there, there’s an alien that would be interested in your concern. Unfortunately, I am but a lowly human” beams your woes to ET, like my earthling heart skips a beat. I’d probe your plight, but I’m grounded—cosmic shrugs rule. The humor orbits from the alien dodge!

Example 1: Suppose your friend stresses a date. You could say: “Somewhere out there, there’s an alien that would be interested in your concern. Unfortunately, I am but a lowly human—love’s alien!”

Example 2: Picture your sibling fussing. You might say: “Somewhere out there, there’s an alien that would be interested in your concern. Unfortunately, I am but a lowly human—earth says no!”

Conclusion

There are plenty of funny ways to say I don’t care, and adding humor to your responses can make conversations more lighthearted and entertaining. Why settle for the usual when you can be witty and creative? Try these playful alternatives in your next chat and keep things fun!

For more hilarious phrases, check out Other Ways To Say and make every conversation more exciting!